shout!

madami akong gustong sabihin,mas marami akong gustong isigaw. sa sobrang dami para akong sasabog. hindi ko alam bakit nag ka ganito ng buhay ko. mas lalong kung bakit hinayaan kong maging ganito.

ang pinaka pinagsisisihan ko sa lahat ay yung nagmahal ako. kasi nagmahal ako ng mali. nagmahal ako ng isang taong sarili lang nya ang kayang mahalin. masakit dahil pinataggal ko pa ng tatlong taon, bago ko tuluyang matanggap at masabi sa sarili ko na mali ako. ang masakit, hindi ko magawang mapatawad ang sarili ko sa mga nagawa kong mali.

may mga pagkakataon na gusto ko na lang tapusin ang lahat sa paraang alam kong ikasusunog ng kauluwa ko sa impyerno, pero iniisip ko, hindi pa nga ba matalagal ko nang ginawang maligaw sa tamang landas.

para sa taong, dahilan ng lahat ng paghihirap at sakit na nararamdaman ko, alam kong wala kang pakialam, at ang sakit sakit nun. buong buhay ko binigay sa syo. wala akong tinira sa sarili ko at hanggang ngayon, pinagsisihan kong minahal pa kita, at naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil mahal parin kita. tanga kasi ako e. pero wala akong magagawa kung hindi mo kayang suklian yun. mag hahantay nlang ako na matapos ang buhay. sana mapdali.

nagdadalawang-isip ako, kasi napakamalas ko at inanakan mo pa ko. masaklap pa, tinatakwil mo kaming mag-ina mo. pero gago ako kasi pinag-tatanggol parin kita kahit pinapamukha mo naman na wala kang pakialam. sinasabi mo na mukha akong pera pero ikaw tong, hindi mapakali pag nakakita ka ng 1000 peso bill. para sayo nabibili ang lahat.

mali akong mahal kita. maling mali. ang alam ko lang ngayon, gusto kong tapusin lahat ng paghihirap ko. gusto kong iwan ang mundong ginagalawan mo. ang hindi ko lang magawa iwan ang anak ko. takot ako na magaya sya sakin. naduduwag ako para sa kanya. na kung mawala ako, masaktan mo pati sya. at yun ang isang bagay na hindi ko hahayaang mangyari. hanggang sa kabilang buhay, proprotektahan ko ang bata laban syo.

and so thought i was

for two weeks. you made me feel alright. then you just turned into a monster once again. all because of money. i don't care about your money. to tell you that. i earn my own. you are just so arrogant as usual to realize that.

Charice - Pyramid (feat. Iyaz) Lyrics

Charice - Pyramid (feat. Iyaz) Lyrics

Green Day - 21 Guns Lyrics

Green Day - 21 Guns Lyrics

in between

The biggest regret I may have as of this very moment is letting myself fall in love with you. As much as it pains me right now. I still have this involuntary response and need to be right next to you. It this how relationships go? But then again, I ask myself, am I just making this relationship workout between the two of us for our son? They say that children are supposed to strengthen marriage. But then again we never married. For one, who weren't ready to become a husband. Neither were you ready for fatherhood. I just loved this once. And I promised myself if this would come to an end anytime soon, I wouldn't engage in any relationship at all. Painful as it already is. I have given so much and expected just your respect. We are not young, as we were. You seem to haven't outgrown yourself. I have waited three years for you to realize the direction you wanted in your life. And we have been running in circles for the past year. Ever since we had a baby, you acted that way. Ever since my old body, and appearance was taken away from me due to pregnancy you acted like a teenage boy. May I remind you that you are not 17. I have kept telling you to please grow up. Its not like everyday I can cope up by your lifestyle which includes chasing girls everyday. Can't blame you for not feeling well loved. But your son deserves better and I'm not about to sit around and watch you ruin every dream that I have for him, just like that. The truth is I hate you but as much as I do I still care about you. I just don't know why I'm feeling this way. I just don't know why I can't force myself to leave you completely. At this point, I just want to be treated better. I just want to be respected. I just want to wake up and finally realize if I can still hold on, or just let go. Permanently.

G is for GAGA

O geezzzz... You really should change your name. In my opinion, your name contradicts the person you really are. I mean, you have this talent to make pretend that your a good girl, but then again, your like a devil in disguise. I know for a fact that I'm not good. But I don't pretend like you do. Making people believe that you are an angel sent from high above, worshiping God and all those stuff. Yet again, you have this potential to be such a b***h. You are just a hypocrite. Yes. You are! The one and only saving grace of b*****s. It doesn't matter if you have thousands of failed relationships. That doesn't give you enough reason to ruin mine. Get it? I really hate your predicament that you and your so called undeniable boyfriend are no more than history. And don't even get me started by telling me you know where your place is with m****. Hello? If you really knew where your place was, you wouldn't have to block my account. Got something to hide don't you? You're just plastic. You were right; you are simple. Plain and simple plastic. Considering that you also possess bad grammar and the attributes of a *** s***ave. Then I think it was so nice of you to pay for the m****r***m. Yeah! I know that stuff. Hah!

ignore

there are certain things that i tend to ignore nowadays. one is your natural talent for making me feel deprived and hurt, two; the fact that you have this capacity to ignore me as well, and three; the way you have changed over the years.

call me pretentious but it has been easier this way. not much tension going around. and the fact that you seem to have this unexplainable way of handling my outburst made me accept that you'll never have maturity.

our relationship is at its lowest point so far. i for one have this tendency to burst out, but then again you seem not to care. so why bother.

though it seems that it was my fault. but then love is unconditional. and you put the un in conditional. your being uncontrollable is getting worse as the days go by. and i really don't know what up with you. why you're like that and why i am like this. then again, i just do what you do best and that is to ignore these things.